When I added a 'Donate' button to my blog, it was by suggestion of a friend from back home. As my blog is fairly new and I created it mainly as a way to heal and avoid future patterns, but also to help others in similar situations, I didn't think it would be read by anyone other than my friend. I was wrong.
Thank you to those who have sent me well wishes, who support my decision to leave an abusive relationship and from the bottom of my heart, to those who have already 'Donated' to my cause.
When it comes to seeking financial help, I find it difficult to turn to family and friends for two reasons. First being that we are all struggling financially. Secondly, I am very concerned about putting them in a situation that they don't deserve. When it comes to my friends, I feel that the less they know the better.
As the ex and I have been together for well over 10 years, we both have the same friends, we both ran in the same circle, I fear someone may be more on his side then mine and divulge not only my whereabouts, but also my choices. As it stands, the majority are still with him, they see him upset, they see him sad, they see him drinking even more in excess and in turn have asked me to return so his life can improve once again.
I have been told that when I return, they will help him get sober, they will help him get the help he needs, what I haven't heard is the same from him. What I haven't heard is any one of them say they are trying to get him help now.
To return home is not an option. His sobriety and happiness is something that he is going to have to want to do for himself and it is something that he is going to have to start, by himself.
So a few of you have asked in comments about where I am going? Will I go to my mom's?
I can not divulge the exact location at this time. What I can tell you is that my mom is well over 12 hours away from my current location and yes, I am hoping to be on the road by Friday at the latest. If I have to work a few odd jobs here and there along the way to put gas in my car to make it to her, I will, but regardless, I can't stay here.
The constant fear that surrounds me is taking it's toll. I find myself looking over my shoulder and losing sleep because of every little sound I hear out a window in the dark is in my mind, him. I can't live like this.
I need the embrace of what I remember from my days as a little girl. I need to know that I am safe, I am okay.
Thank you to those who have sent me well wishes, who support my decision to leave an abusive relationship and from the bottom of my heart, to those who have already 'Donated' to my cause.
When it comes to seeking financial help, I find it difficult to turn to family and friends for two reasons. First being that we are all struggling financially. Secondly, I am very concerned about putting them in a situation that they don't deserve. When it comes to my friends, I feel that the less they know the better.
As the ex and I have been together for well over 10 years, we both have the same friends, we both ran in the same circle, I fear someone may be more on his side then mine and divulge not only my whereabouts, but also my choices. As it stands, the majority are still with him, they see him upset, they see him sad, they see him drinking even more in excess and in turn have asked me to return so his life can improve once again.
I have been told that when I return, they will help him get sober, they will help him get the help he needs, what I haven't heard is the same from him. What I haven't heard is any one of them say they are trying to get him help now.
To return home is not an option. His sobriety and happiness is something that he is going to have to want to do for himself and it is something that he is going to have to start, by himself.
So a few of you have asked in comments about where I am going? Will I go to my mom's?
I can not divulge the exact location at this time. What I can tell you is that my mom is well over 12 hours away from my current location and yes, I am hoping to be on the road by Friday at the latest. If I have to work a few odd jobs here and there along the way to put gas in my car to make it to her, I will, but regardless, I can't stay here.
The constant fear that surrounds me is taking it's toll. I find myself looking over my shoulder and losing sleep because of every little sound I hear out a window in the dark is in my mind, him. I can't live like this.
I need the embrace of what I remember from my days as a little girl. I need to know that I am safe, I am okay.
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